Who am I ?

I was taught to obey and follow the rule and tried to be humble all the time.
In recent years, it was proofed to be no good at all.
The conflict with the philosophy and the reality really confuses me.
I can't just tell which is the right one.
However, there is still the most important part that which is most suitable for myself.

I have no answer right now.

I hope noting down the thought and reaction of myself can help me sort out "Who exactly I am?".